Home › Forums › Sport Trivia › 10 Footballers That Just Look Far, Far Too Old
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November 11, 2015 at 2:05 pm #5558
Anonymous
InactiveBy Chris Wright
Jay Spearing, Liverpool (supposed ‘real’ age: 26)
After being genuinely taken aback by some stunning ‘Pablo Zabaleta’s year of birth’-related trivia in the pub last night (more on that later), Pies have cobbled together a list of ten currently active footballers who just look far, far too old for dates on their birth certificates…
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November 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm #9304Inactive
Arjen Robben, Bayern Munich (supposed ‘real’ age: 31)
With his hairline rapidly receding from the age of 20, Robben now does a fine impression of a 47-year old chartered surveyor and self-anointed dinner party wine expert: “The ’57 Chateau du Malt Vinaigre has subtle undertones of tarmac and Opal Fruits,” etc, etc.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:10 pm #9305Inactive
Hendry Thomas, Wigan (supposed ‘real’ age: 29)
He’s seen things you people couldn’t imagine.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:20 pm #9306Inactive
John ’32 Forever’ Terry, Chelsea (Supposed 'real' age: 35)
Mere looking at him, you would think he possesses an antidote to the ageing process.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:22 pm #9307Inactive
Wayne Rooney, Man Utd (supposed ‘real’ age: 29)
Like a steaming joint of boiled ham with eyebrows.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:23 pm #9308Inactive
Shane Duffy, Everton (supposed ‘real’ age: 23)
Looks like he’s being played by Daniel Day Lewis.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:26 pm #9309Inactive
Jimmy Bullard, Ipswich (supposed ‘real’ age: 36)
Fair enough, Jimmy’s no spring chicken any more. That said, the fact remains that he’s looked like a melting waxwork of himself for at least a decade and the now-greying hair doesn’t exactly help matters. He looks like the ghost of an Elizabethan peasant woman.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:27 pm #9310Inactive
Pablo Zabaleta, Man City (supposed ‘real’ age: 30)
As alluded to earlier, I’m now a full English tenner worse off because Man City’s very own ‘Boxer the Cart-Horse’ isn’t “at least 36″.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:29 pm #9311Inactive
Steven Fletcher, Wolves (supposed ‘real’ age: 27)
27? Bollocks.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:31 pm #9312Inactive
Charlie Adam, Stoke City (supposed ‘real’ age: 29)
The poor guy looks like he’s been bare-knuckle boxing in Glasgow warehouses every night of the week for 20 years, and brushing his teeth with supermarket Scotch every following morning.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:34 pm #9313Inactive
Honorary Mention
Alan Cork, formerly of Sheffield United
Seen here aged 19…ish.
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November 11, 2015 at 2:40 pm #9314Inactive
Other Honorary Mentions
Obafemi ‘Please Produce Your Birth Certificate’ Martins, Gabriel ‘Vintage Parsnip’ Obertan, Shaun ‘Joe Bugner’s Former Sparring Partner’ Derry, Yao ‘Ancient Medicine Man’ Gervinho, both Paul Robinsons, Jose ‘Hair? Yes, I Remember Hair’ Reina…
Any old-looking buggers we’ve missed? Feel free to give us a nudge ‘downstairs’…
Source:http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/lists/106458/10-footballers-that-just-look-far-far-too-old.html
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November 11, 2015 at 2:59 pm #9315Inactive
Charlie Adams looks like a freak.
Where is Koscienly on that list?
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November 11, 2015 at 3:00 pm #9316Inactive
Alan Cock looks like my great grand pa.
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November 11, 2015 at 3:07 pm #9317Inactive
Terry has always looked like an arugbo ojo to me.
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November 11, 2015 at 3:08 pm #9318Inactive
Alan Cock looks like my great grand pa.
Lol…hilarious.
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